Wednesday, 6 January 2016

Responses to French People who Bang on about how their Cuisine is the Best in the World*

You drink UHT milk.

You serve roast meat with only potatoes. Even Brits know that potatoes are mainly carbohydrate, which is why meat should be served with two veg.

You are the second highest per capita consumers of McDonald's in the world.

Calling grated carrots a starter and claiming that you are therefore serving a three course meal is cheating.

You think vodka and orange juice counts as a cocktail. 

Only in Paris have I ever been served a restaurant meal where not only was the food industrially prepared and frozen, it hadn't even been defrosted properly.

Your pâtisserie is superb but your home baking is lamentable. (How else could something as boring as a madeleine achieve such iconic status?)

Your hot drinks are very rarely actually hot.

Crisps do not automatically become nutritious or sophisticated just because you serve them with alcohol and call it an apéritif

This delicious meal we are eating was probably purchased at Picard.

Remove tongue from cheek and continue appreciating everything which is genuinely awesome about French food. 

*See my previous post to find out why these might come in handy


  1. I have a (French) friend who loves grated carrots... I do not understand the appeal because I like crunching into a carrot like I'm Bugs Bunny.

    I agree with what you're saying about crisps, and yet after my time in France I do think of them as classier than I used to. Somehow there is less guilt, too, when you think of them as a precursor to the meal instead of as an afternoon or late night snack-- even though it is the exact same product.

  2. Haha! I loved this list! Also, I agree with I Say Oui - I love carrots but like actual carrots. I take carrot sticks to work for a snack and get weird looks.

    And if I grab a handful of like pretzels (I don't really like crisps) as a snack, I get told it's not time for apero. I just happen to prefer savory to sweet. So what's the problem with pretzels instead of a pain au chocolat for my "gouter"? Not to mention, it's healthier...