She's Here!

After my last whinging blog post, I decided too get over myself and made lots of plans for the week with friends along the lines of "Assuming I'm not otherwise occupied by then, would you like to meet up?" and the last few days of pregnancy were actually quite nice despite the effect of hormones which I'm sure were to blame for making me grumpy.

Then, with perfect timing, another series of contractions started just as I was putting SCT to bed. I kept an eye on the timings while reading her bedtime story,  UFM came home from work, and as soon as SCT fell asleep we made our way to the hospital.

Everyone tells you that second babies often come more quickly, so I was fearing a fast and dramatic birth, but in fact this labour was if anything slightly longer than the first. But although I wouldn't go so far as to say it was pleasant (and having resisted an epidural for as long as possible, I'm in awe of anyone who gives birth without one) everything went as well as could be expected and we were enjoying newborn cuddles by the middle of the morning.

SCT has been to meet her little sister. She looked at her, said, "Fait dodo," very matter-of-factly, then got busy climbing on the hospital furniture and playing with the controls on the bed.

So all is well chez nous for the moment!

Why Are We Waiting ...

... this is so frustrating!

If I were in the UK, today would be my due date. Because in France le terme is counted as 41 weeks, here I still have another 7 days to go, but none of that really matters because I feel as if my body has seriously tricked me at the end of this pregnancy. With SCT, I had a lovely second trimester, then felt progressively more tired throughout the third. During the 39th week I had a few signs that her arrival might be imminent (with hindsight - I didn't recognise them all at the time). I was due to be induced at 39 weeks so I didn't stress too much about when she might arrive, then on the due date, we went to the hospital, my contractions started and she was born the same day.

This time around, I started to feel as if things might be happening just before 38 weeks too and was expecting Baby 2 to arrive around the same time as SCT. Then at 38 weeks I had an episode of really strong contractions and started to think we might need to go to the hospital. (This would have been very inconvenient, as SCT was ill at the time.) Then nothing.

Then I had a day when I felt full of energy and ready to go, just like the day before SCT was born.

Then nothing.

And the pattern has continued for 2 weeks now - a few signs and symptoms that just disappear as soon as I start to think it really could be now. It's driving me nuts, because I don't want to make too many plans, and also, I'm just tired enough to not really have the energy to do much, but not so tired that I'm not frustrated by just waiting for the time to pass.

At the beginning it was made worse by the fact that all the symptom spotting and planning was kind of necessary, as we had to make sure everything was in place for SCT if UFM and I needed to leave, but now my mum is here to look after her and we're all organised, so there's nothing to worry about.

On the plus side:
- it's been lovely having a bit of extra time to spend 1:1 with SCT on the days when she's been at home with me
- I've been able to make the most of my mum's visit. If the baby had decided to come straight after she arrived, I'd have spent 4 days at the hospital while she was back at home with SCT and UFM.
- We've had time to move SCT into her new bedroom, so everybody is now sleeping in the right place for when Baby 2 arrives and needs to be in our room.
- The midwife who did my ante-natal classes recommended making a little book for SCT explaining what will happen when the baby is born, to be read to her after I leave for the hospital. I'm really pleased I actually had time to do this, because leaving her behind is the thing I'm looking forward to the least about Baby 2's arrival.

Well, that and going through childbirth again, I suppose!

Pregnancy 1 vs Pregnancy 2

My own gloomy Eiffel Tower shot.

A few weeks ago I read an article, illustrated by a very gloomy picture of the Eiffel Tower, about how this winter has been one of the darkest ever on record in northern Europe, with Paris experiencing only ten hours of sunlight in the first half of January, compared to an average of 63 hours.

Suddenly, I understood why it has been so hard to get out of bed in the mornings. I don't think I suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder or anything, but I suspect a difference as extreme as that must have an impact on most people.

I was also quite relieved. Any time I've mentioned feeling more tired during this pregnancy than the last one, people have said it's because I also have a toddler to look after, which wasn't exactly boding well for how things will go after baby number 2 is born.

Plus, my gut feeling was that it wasn't true. Physically, this pregnancy has been very similar to the last one, and while it's true that running around after SCT isn't exactly restful, in other ways life has become easier (not spending 2.5 hours per day commuting being one of the best examples).

It's been fun, however, to compare the two experiences in other ways.

Armed with my knowledge from last time, I found it easier to organise my medical care. For the first six months I saw a sage-femme libérale, and for the rest I got signed up easily at a maternity hospital with a very similar ethos to the one I went to in Paris. All the staff I've encountered so far have been lovely, and they don't seem to as overwhelmed with patient numbers and administrative issues, so everything is going smoothly so far.

Being busy with other things, I've probably spent less time thinking about the actual pregnancy, reading about every step of the baby's development and watching my bump move. This baby hasn't been neglected though: knowing what it was like the first time round has given me a more concrete idea of things to look forward to, and I'm actually finding it easier to be excited.

Then of course, there's the small matter of getting the baby out of there and into the world. I can't say that's something I'm looking forward to, but at least I have a better idea of what to expect and how to manage it all. They say that second births are generally easier, so fingers crossed I'm not going to be the exception to that rule!

If things have been quiet around here ...

... it might be because it's the rentrée and everyone is too busy taking work seriously to do fun and exciting things.

... it might be because taking a toddler to the park is often the highlight of our weekend

... it might be because we've moved to the suburbs and are in the process of becoming old and boring

But there's also a very exciting reason why evenings spent reading and watching TV, local walks and afternoon naps have taken precedence over novel and bloggable experiences:

We are expecting our second baby!

He or she is due in March, so having spent the summer feeling sick and exhausted, I'm finding it a bit easier to enjoy life now (at least up until about 9pm, when I fall asleep on the sofa). So far, I think the best thing about this being the second time around is looking forward to everything more: we know what to expect and, having survived the baby experience once, we're more confident that it will be OK this time around as well.

But if anyone has any tips for surviving sleepless nights with a newborn followed by manic days with a toddler, I'm all ears!

Having a Baby in France: My Experience à la Maternité

• Maternity care in France, like most of the health service, is excellent. When you give birth you will have access to excellent doctors, stay in a comfortable private room for at least 4 days, and even the hospital food is will be delicious. 

• Childbirth in France is over-medicalised. Your baby will probably be whipped out of you by C-section before being whisked away from you to spend the night in a nursery being bottle fed before you can weakly cry "Breast is Best!" from your sickbed.

Out there on the big scary internet, giving birth in France is often presented from one or other of these points of view. Based on my own feelings on the subject, eight years of living here and perhaps a pinch of optimism, I was more inclined to believe the first version, but aspects of the second did play on my mind a bit. I didn't have very specific ideas about what I wanted the birth to be like (and was glad I didn't have to spend any ante-natal classes "visualising my birth nest", which is apparently a thing in some circles), but I was keen to avoid unnecessary interventions, have as much contact with the baby as possible after the birth, and at least give breastfeeding a serious try.

And I was lucky, because things worked out perfectly, more or less by accident. When I discovered that I should have registered for a maternity hospital earlier than I did, I sent applications to three hospitals that my GP recommended on our side of Paris, and the only one which could offer me a place was the Maternité des Bluets in the 12th. Les Bluets is a not-for-profit private hospital where the charges are the same as those refunded by social security. It's a "hôpital ami des bébés", which is a label accorded by the WHO and UNICEF largely for the promotion of breastfeeding, and there is a focus on giving birth as naturally as possible. At the same time, it is an actual hospital, with doctors and anaesthetists on hand, an operating theatre and a connecting door to the Hôpital Trousseau, which has a Level 3 neonatal intensive care unit.

I actually went into hospital the day I gave birth with an appointment to be induced, as the baby was measuring large and there was a risk that, because I had diabetes, she would be huge, risking extra complications during the birth. To my great surprise, however, when the midwives did their exams and hooked me up to the monitoring system, it turned out that I was already in labour. I had an epidural, which I had said I wanted because induced births tend to be much more painful than natural ones, but there was a point when I almost regretted it a) because it made me feel really sick and b) because everything was going so easily without. In the end, though, it was just as well I did, as in the last hour my calm, gentle birth turned into a bit of a medical drama when the baby's heartbeat dropped and they couldn't get her out quickly enough. A doctor was called, and as I pushed desperately, with two midwives shoving on my stomach, he used every instrument in the box (which looks like a set of medieval torture instruments) to try to pull the baby out. And then she was there, and she was fine, and I was mostly fine, apart from feeling incredibly weak and almost passing out any time I tried to get upright.

Luckily, the post-natal care was as good as promised. Understanding Frenchman had a pullout bed in my room and was able to take care of the baby as I lay weakly watching him, and we had regular visits from midwives and nurses to check that everything was OK. As well as giving all the appropriate medical treatments, they recommended lovely things like having as much skin-to-skin contact to help the baby get over her scary experience of being born. One night at 2am I was really struggling to feed her and she was screaming her head off, and all I had to do was buzz for a nurse who came to show me what to do and reassure me that everything was working OK. (If that situation had arisen at home, I don't know what I would have done!)

So in the end, my experience was quite medicalised, but certainly not over-medicalised, and we got all the "natural" things that I wanted to.

Also, the hospital food was indeed very tasty.

That's More Like It!

The sun has finally come out over the past two days and we seem to have jumped from winter to summer in the space of about 24 hours. Today I made the most of feeling quite energetic to wash the windows and clean the fridge (which sounds like classic "nesting" behaviour, but I don't think there was any hormonal impulse there; they were just really dirty and certainly won't get washed after the baby is born!) then took myself out for a walk around the Lac Daumesnil in the Bois de Vincennes.

This part of the park is home to tons of bird life (natural and less natural - I'm pretty sure the peacocks wouldn't be there without human intervention) and pretty much every species seemed to have a cluster of babies trailing in its wake:

Another good thing was that I had another midwife appointment at the beginning of the week and she told me that I am not supposed to be hungry all the time. Admittedly the solution was to eat even more natural yoghurt (when this baby comes out, I am never touching the stuff again) but she also said fruit was ok as long as my blood sugar results were reasonable, so I bought some nice strawberries and peaches and have been feeling much less grumpy!

Maternity Leave in Paris (The dream vs reality)

When I told people I was expecting a baby in June, a lot of them said, "Oh, that's a lovely time to have a baby!" and I would imagine myself pushing the pram around the park and pausing for a rest in the shade, with baby wearing a little dress and a sunhat to protect her from the glorious (but not yet blazing) sunshine. This delightful fantasy was to be preceded by an equally lovely maternity leave involving gentle strolls and relaxing on a park bench with a book. My other plans involved trying out all the open air swimming pools in Paris, picnics with friends at the weekend and a few meals sitting on a restaurant terrasse with Understanding Frenchman as we enjoyed our last weeks of freedom together.

I'm now into my third week of leave and those plans have been somewhat sabotaged by circumstance.

The first week, we had some really good weather. Understanding Frenchman took days off, and although a fair amount of our time was spent on practical tasks like paperwork for the new flat and ordering nappy deliveries from Auchan, we did get out and about a bit, including a visit to a museum and a stroll along the banks of the Seine. Unfortunately, this was also the week when I felt truly exhausted. Having more or less sailed through pregnancy up until that point, I suddenly needed a little lie-down after the monumental effort of getting dressed in the morning, while climbing the stairs up from the metro left my legs turning to jelly as if I had just summited Everest. I know I was very lucky to get this far before that kicked in, but it did make it more of a shock to the system!

The fatigue did improve after that (I've noticed over the past few weeks that when I do something tiring like travelling or the last couple of weeks at work, the exhaustion seems to kick in as soon as I stop, rather than at the time, then goes away eventually) but the next spanner in the works came in the form of damp, grey weather which has since turned to full-on pouring rain most days. So bye-bye swimming pool and sunbathing. When I bought my maternity clothes, I avoided getting too many winter things and planned my wardrobe for when I was huge around pretty summer dresses. Luckily most of these can be worn with tights, and I haven't yet grown so huge that my coat won't do up!

The final, and truly depressing, thing was being diagnosed with gestational diabetes in week 34. All women tend to experience an increase in their blood sugar as pregnancy goes on, but gestational diabetes is when this natural process goes too far, the body doesn't produce enough insulin and the blood glucose levels get far too high. The risk for the baby is basically that it will grow too big, or some organs will be oversized, while the mother can develop pre-eclampsia and the delivery is likely to be difficult. While insulin can be prescribed, the initial treatment is a strict diet involving nothing with added sugar and limited quantities of carbohydrate. When you've already given up (most) caffeine, alcohol, unpasteurised cheese, raw and lightly-cooked meat and eggs, pâté and certain types of fish, that doesn't leave a lot to enjoy! (Natural yoghurt features about 4 times a day on the eating plan I was given by the hospital.) In addition, as the diet only provides around 1800 calories a day (I don't actually know why, as I thought in the last trimester 2200-2300 was the recommended amount), it also leaves you hungry, which is not fun when you're tired out from all the normal aspects of pregnancy already. (On the plus side, I won't have to worry about losing weight after the birth, because if the baby is as big as they think she is, I'm going to come out of hospital lighter than I started the pregnancy!)

 However, I'm very aware that these are the pregnancy equivalent of first-world-problems, so having got the moaning out of my system, here are some of the things that have been awesome about maternity leave so far:

1. There has been a certain amount of sunshine, and a certain amount of strolling around. And being out and about in Paris is lovely even when you are wearing jeans instead of a summer dress.

2. A good friend of mine has been on maternity leave at the same time, and as her baby was born a week after the due date, we had a fortnight of cinema and lunch dates to enjoy instead of the expected week.

3. Ante-natal classes. Some people say these aren't very helpful, or even skip them out altogether, but I love going. When you haven't got much to do apart from prepare for the arrival of the baby, it's fun to spend a couple of hours sitting around and learning about exactly that. I think it's helped that I'm taking them at the hospital where I'm going to give birth because the best bit hasn't been the biology lessons or the breathing exercises but the explanations of what will actually happen on the day, given by the team of midwives who will be present at the birth. Suddenly it all seems that bit more real.

4. Buying a sewing machine. This was something I'd been thinking about for a while, as I used to love sewing, knitting and making things when I was little, but as an adult had been reduced to taking up hems and sewing on buttons. Making things for the baby seemed like the perfect excuse, so I ordered one online and it was delivered in the first week. So far, my projects have included two little dresses, a baby sleeping bag and re-covering the second hand car seat that we acquired from UFM's brother and which was a bit yellowed from sitting in their attic.

One of these dresses is from a lovely but expensive shop selling fairtrade organic baby clothes. The other is made by moi. You can probably figure out which is which, but I'm still pretty proud of my effort!

Fleece-lined sleeping bag made from some discount fabric and an Ikea blanket. If the weather doesn't improve, we might be using this sooner rather than later!

Nice, clean car seat. Not that we have a car (yet) but it's good to be prepared.

So there we go. Maternity leave hasn't been exactly what I planned, but there have been good bits nonetheless!

Maternity Care In France

Medical care during pregnancy in France has a reputation for being excellent. As this is my first experience of maternity care anywhere, I can't really make any comparisons, but I'm prepared to believe it. However, like so many other things in this country, it takes a little time to figure out the system before you get to experience the excellence, so for what it's worth, I thought I'd share my experiences here.

As with other kinds of medical treatment, you have a lot of choices in France. The price of having choices is, of course, that you have to take responsibility for your own decisions, and there is also a fair amount of paperwork to be filled out (with accompanying deadlines), which for a rookie like me was a bit stressful, especially in my exhausted and somewhat emotional first-trimester state.

When I first found out I was pregnant, I actually already had an appointment lined up with a gynaecologist, so I phoned my GP to check if there was anything else I needed to do, and she gave me a prescription for the blood test which would confirm the pregnancy. Her secretary told me I would need this to send to the CAF and the sécurité sociale, which was to be done by the end of the first trimester.

From what I understand, the initial pregnancy consultations can be done by a gynaecologist, a midwife or your GP. If the gynaecologist is also an obstetrician, he or she can "follow" your pregnancy beyond the fourth month, as can a midwife. Midwives in France either practise at maternity hospitals and clinics, or as sage-femmes libérales, but hospital care, at least at my maternity unit, seems to start from the fourth month, so if you want to take the midwife option earlier, you have to find your own libérale one.

Most people I know have had their pregnancies followed by their gynaecologist, but my strange experiences with mine ended in me cancelling my 3-month appointment and stressing massively about what to do next. Understanding Frenchman sensibly suggested, after a week or so of being on the receiving end of my stressing, that I went to see my very nice GP to ask for advice, and that is what I did. One twenty-minute appointment later and I was feeling much more in control of the situation. The key things I learned from her were:

- although you can do the déclaration de grossesse as soon as you have the lab report showing that you're pregnant, it's fine to wait until after the 12 week scan, as you have up to week 14 to get it signed by a doctor and send it in.

- you don't have to travel all the way across town and pay a fortune to get a decent scan, as the weird gynaecologist had told me. My GP was able to recommend an excellent radiologist in our arrondissement and I got an appointment no problem.

- if you live in Paris DO NOT (as the weird gynaecologist advised me) WAIT UNTIL AFTER THE SCAN TO SIGN UP FOR THE MATERNITY CLINIC. It's more a case of peeing on the stick and contacting the hospital as soon as that magic line appears. (OK, I'm exaggerating, but not by much. We are lucky to have several good sector 1 units nearby and when I contacted them at around 10 weeks, two of the three were already full.)

Once I had a place at the maternity unit, I chose to have all my appointments there from 4 months onwards apart from the scans, as they do midwife consultations and also run ante-natal classes, but you can continue to see someone outside for a certain number of weeks, depending on what type of health professional they are. One option which doesn't seem to be widely used is seeing a GP - I asked mine a few pregnancy-related questions in the course of other appointments and she seemed a bit surprised. I have the impression that most women in Paris tend to see someone more specialist, and as a result, GPs are less used to dealing with pregnancies than a UK doctor or a French one in a more rural area might be.

I've been very happy with the midwife consultations I've had so far, as the midwives have all seemed both  professional and approachable, and I like the idea of getting to know the people who may be around for the actual birth. However, I can also see some advantages in seeing a gynaecologist (if you happen to have one who isn't weird!). One is that the hours for the midwife appointments are quite limited and have resulted in me having to take a few half-days off work. Although you are legally entitled to do this, given that my mutuelle would also cover the cost of a Sector 2 gynaecologist where I could get appointments after work, I felt a bit bad about missing all that time. Also, despite my weird experiences at the first two appointments, the gynaecologist had the equipment in her clinic to do a couple of very early scans, and it was nice to have some evidence that there was a baby in there and know that everything was OK at those early stages.

That's probably enough for now. More to follow as my experience progresses!